How I Imagine SnK Smut:
Oh I’m so fucking ready
*takes off ridiculously long boots*
*takes off socks*
so fucking ready
*takes off jacket*
*takes off skirt thing*
…hold… hold on….
*takes off all 3dmg*
*takes off belt 1*
*takes off belt 2*
*takes off belt 3*
*takes off belt 4*
just wait a second babe
*takes off belt 5*
*takes off jeans*
*takes off shirt*
so fucking ready
*someone screaming titans*
*puts everything back on*
how do you know when you are in love
I drooled all over myself while laughing at this.
french people are so hardcore they eat pain for breakfast
this pun was wasted on you all
I’m going to assume this has happened to anyone who’s ever cuddled anyone and has a penis.
Source (find the exact comic yourself; at least I linked you to the webpage)
no, no, dont do this, please, if you are cuddling w/ me your boner is like a compliment and i welcome you to grind that shit into the back of my legs
if we are spooning and there isn’t a boner pressed into my butt I will assume you don’t actually like me and get really upset
my favorite thing in the universe is watching college students trying to get a broken vending machine to give them their snack
one dude was caressing it and saying “shhh baby just give it to me, i swear i’l call in the morning” and some other girl just kept screaming “GIVE ME MY FOOD U LIL FUCKER GOD DAMMIT UGH”
moral of the story: dont fuck w/ college students and their food
we will eat you.
absolute fucking favorite
HE WAS GOING TO DIE AND HE USED HIS REMAINING STRENGTH TO FREE HER… THIS IS HOW YOU OTP
YOUR OTP COULD NEVER
I often see things online about how Eugene should have waited to be saved, then cut her hair, or that he shouldn’t have cut as much, etc. but I feel like those people are missing the entire point.
Ok first of all, Eugene had waited for Rapunzel to heal him, who knows what would have happened, because Mother Gothel could have come and taken her away immediately. He instead makes the selfless decision with the little bit of strength that he has, to risk his own life in order to save Rapunzel. But more importantly: Eugene was selfish his entire life - mainly because nobody was ever looking out for him. He grew up poor and in an orphanage, so he had to be selfish in order to survive, which is why he turned to thieving. This moment is the moment where everything changes. It is the one time in his life that he puts someone else first.
Second: The symbolism behind the fact that he cuts her hair should tell you everything. All of Rapunzel’s life the only person who she ever knew to love her, didn’t actually love her, but she loved her hair. Gothel was always shown looking, talking to and kissing Rapunzel’s hair, and not really ever Rapunzel herself. Eugene, on the other hand, fell in love with Rapunzel the PERSON. He saw her as another human being, and he saw her heart. That is why he cut her hair - her hair didn’t matter to him because the magic was INSIDE her. He knew that and thus knew that even as he died, she would live a happy life because of how beautiful she is on the inside.
Please read this****
If a thief forces you to take money from an ATM, do not argue or resist. What you should do is punch your pin in reverse. EX: if your pin is 1234 you punch 4321. The moment you punch in the reverse, the money will come out but will be stuck in the machine and the machine will immediately alert the police without the theif’s knowledge. Every ATM has this feature.
Reblog this so everyone knows, this happens all the time especially in the city
ATM’S DO NOT HAVE THIS FEATURE. I CANNOT BEGIN TO TELL YOU HOW MANY TIMES I HAVE ACCIDENTALLY PUT IN A PIN NUMBER BACKWARDS AT AN ATM FOR WHATEVER REASON, AND IT JUST GIVES AN ERROR MESSAGE SAYING INCORRECT PIN.
I ALSO CANNOT BEGIN TO TELL YOU HOW MANY TIMES I HAVE HAD TO EXPLAIN TO CUSTOMERS OF THE BANK I USED TO WORK CUSTOMER SERVICE FOR THAT NO, AUTOMATIC TELLER MACHINES DO NOT FUCKING DO THIS.
WHAT SHOULD YOU DO IF SOMEONE GRABS YOU AT AN ATM AND THREATENS YOU FOR ALL YOUR ACCOUNTS MONEY? YOU GIVE THEM YOUR GODDAMN MONEY, CALL THE POLICE, AND THEN CALL THE BANK. THE CAMERA ON THE FUCKING ATM SHOULD HAVE CAUGHT THEIR FACE, AND THERES USUALLY ANOTHER CAMERA NEARBY JUST IN CASE THEY SHIELD THEMSELVES FROM THE ATM CAMERA. CALL THE POLICE FIRST, AND THEN CALL YOUR FUCKING BANK. TELL THE PERSON WHO WORKS FOR THE BANK WHAT HAPPENED, AND THEY WILL TAKE THE POLICE REPORT NUMBER, AND RETURN THE MONEY TO YOUR GODDAMN ACCOUNT.
THAT IS THE FUCKING POLICY IN THE EVENT OF THIS KIND OF CRIME BEING COMMITTED AGAINST ANY BANKING CUSTOMER.
ATM MACHINES DO NOT HAVE THIS FUCKING FEATURE, STOP SPREADING GODDAMN LIES THAT CAN GET PEOPLE FUCKING HURT SHOULD THEY BE IN THAT PREDICAMENT.
sugar mama was a boss ass bitch, i mean she survived the Hindenburg Disaster
she survived the sinking of the Titanic
and she survived the meteor that killed all of the dinosaurs
THE TITANIC ONE THO
You know a post is going to be good when it starts out “sugar momma was a boss ass bitch”